EvangAlien
by ratedgdr
Summary: NERV sends a group of personnel, including three human/xenomorph hybrids and two other children, to a silent spaceship. The mission: check for survivors and destroy xenomorphs. It may sound simple, but this is Evangelion and Alien we're dealing with. An AU Evangelion set in the Alien franchise. Rated M for language, gore, and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters belong to Hideki Anno and Studio Gainax. The Alien franchise belongs to Twentieth Century Fox, Dan O'Bannon, and Ronald Shusett, with creature design by H.R. Giger. They are not the property of the author.**

**This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.**

**OK, I should probably admit now that the first couple of chapters will be pretty damn shaky. Hopefully and probably after that I'll be in my normal good form, so sit back and hold on and bear with me****:**

The boy had fallen asleep at the table, the sheer boredom of space having gotten to him once again. It was an empty sleep, one devoid of any dreams whatsoever-

"Shinji?"

He did not respond.

"Shinji? Are you all right?"

It was the voice of Misato Katsuragi. Slowly, Shinji Ikari began to awaken, lifting his head to look at his friend, guardian, and superior. "I'm fine," he mumbled. "I was just asleep."

"We were wondering where you were," she told him. "Your father is on standby on the screen in the briefing room. Let's go."

She walked off as he dragged himself out of his chair and trudged after her.

* * *

"Sorry about that, Commander," Misato apologized to the giant monitor as she walked in, Shinji a fair distance behind her as he approached the others. He stumbled forward in a tired slump until he was next to Asuka Langley Soryu.

"You're late," the redhead remarked dryly.

"Ah, good," said Commander Gendo Ikari, hands clasped in front of him as usual, glasses holding an eerie glow. "As you may or may not have already been informed, the eight of you (and, much to my eternal dismay, the penguin) have been sent on a classified mission, one which carries the very real risk that you will not survive it. However, up to this point, I have not revealed the true nature of this mission. Which is why I called you all here."

Shinji glanced down the row. As soon as his eye caught the sight of Rei Ayanami, her pale face illuminated by the light from the screen, he felt somewhat better about things even though he still had no idea what was going on.

"Shinji, are you paying attention?"

His father's voice snapped him back to reality. "Sorry, Father."

"Anyway, as I was saying, the reason you are on this mission is as follows: several years ago, there was an explosion on a United Nations spacecraft. Parts of it were recovered and brought back to Earth. What we discovered was non-human DNA. As it turns out, the DNA belonged to a xenomorph."

"A what?" asked Ritsuko Akagi. The blond was standing not far from Misato.

"A xenomorph, sometimes simply called an alien." An image appeared on the screen as he spoke: it was a strange creature, with a elongated, smooth head. It had no eyes, none that could be detected, at least. It had almost fang-like jaws. Much of the body was very different looking, skeletal, almost, with a bony tail that ended in what seemed to be a blade of sorts. Shinji took one look at the thing and felt a chill run through him.

"Now, as I was saying, we at NERV feel that the explosion was caused by these xenomorphs. What we fear is that another U.N. vessel near that explosion may have been invaded by these creatures. This may explain why we have been unable to contact the crew."

"What does this have to do with us?" queried Misato.

"Your mission is to go to that U.N. craft and ensure that these xenomorphs are not on board. Should any be present, you are to destroy them all and rescue any human survivors. If there are no human survivors, I want that ship destroyed by any means necessary. In fact, I want that ship destroyed if there is even a single xenomorph on board."

"But why are ALL of us here?" asked Ryoji Kaji. His brown hair was down in a shabby ponytail as usual, and he looked like he needed a shave.

"You, Kaji, are here for intelligence purposes. And by that I mean your position in the intelligence community."

"What kind of intelligence does he have, really?" Misato snickered.

"Y'know, you COULD ask and maybe I'll-" her ex-lover began.

"That won't be necessary, Kaji," Gendo warned him. "Moving on, Dr. Akagi is here for her technical and scientific knowledge. Major Katsuragi is on board because of her military capabilities. The penguin is only here because she didn't want to leave him behind. Rei Ayanami and Kaworu Nagisa are present because they have both human and xenomorph DNA as a result of a lengthy hybridization experiment."

Shinji leaned forward again. Rei remained emotionless, her light blue hair taking on an even brighter hue from the light on the screen. Kaworu, on the other hand, looked almost bleached out in both his white hair and his skin, pale as Rei's was. At least he was smiling. Then again, he often was.

"As you may also know, we have sent another hybrid on board. I believe you have all met Mr. Hartnell Walker."

Shinji and the others glanced at the man in question, if you could even call him that. His head had the elongated look similar to the alien that had just seen, but his face was distinctly human except for the equally elognated jaw. His gaunt, six-six frame made his thin t-shirt hang loosely on his shoulders. His hands were as bony as the alien's, with each finger ending in an ugly claw. His legs had a sickled bend to them, causing him to lean forward.

"Mr. Walker," Shinji's father continued, "was also part of the experiment that created Rei and Kaworu. However, he was created before the process was, uh, perfected."

"So why would you mix human DNA with DNA from those ugly freaks anyway?" Asuka asked.

"As it turns out, Pilot Soryu, we have a very good reason. It has been discovered that these hybrids are significantly superior to their human counterparts in strength, agility, and speed. This makes them an asset should we have to deal with any real xenomorphs."

"And why is HE here?" she replied, jerking her thumb towards Shinji.

"That, unfortunately, was not my call. Were it up to me, he would have stayed here. However, I was asked by higher-ups to include him. I only wish I knew why."

_Thanks a lot, Father, _Shinji thought ruefully.

"I expect regular reports until this mission is concluded. Please execute your mission with caution. I would hate to lose anyone on this mission for any reason. Dismissed." The screen went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: I do not own Evangelion, Alien, or related trademarks.**

**Language warning:**

"You know, he never DID say why I have to be here," complained Asuka as they ate. She had been mostly shoving the food around and not actually eating as her mind was on the snub.

"Weren't you the youngest person to ever graduate into the German air force?" asked Hartnell Walker, his voice sounding very much like an overly deep robot. He wasn't eating anything at all.

"Well, yes, but-"

"Maybe Commander Ikari thinks you would compliment Major Katsuragi through your contrasts," offered Kaworu in his soft, almost effeminate voice. "You tend to be considerably more rash in your words and actions compared to her."

"Well, at least I'M normal and not some freak like you and Wondergirl!" she snapped, indicating Rei Ayanami, who was quietly eating steamed vegetables next to Shinji. The blue-haired girl blinked but said nothing, which did not help Asuka's mood. "Well? Aren't you going to say something?"

"What is there for me to say?" Rei quietly replied.

The redhead became even more flustered as she turned to Kaji, but he just shrugged. Misato tried to suppress a smirk as she ate, but Ritsuko did not have that self-control.

"Fine! If that's how YOU'RE going to act!" Asuka finally snapped as she stormed off.

Shinji looked at Kaworu. "Couldn't you have maybe handled that a bit better?"

Kaworu only smiled.

"Seriously, a little tact would have been nice," the boy insisted.

"She probably deserved it," Ristuko commented lightly.

"Perhaps Ikari is right," Rei countered. "As difficult as Soryu is at times, we could treat her with a bit more patience than we normally do."

"That's the most I've EVER heard you say in one breath, Rei," Kaji noted.

"Does anyone else feel that the Commander was being a little too vague about the nature of the xenomorphs?" Walker asked, feeling that the subject desperately needed changing.

"Well, wouldn't you know something?" Misato asked back. "I mean, with you being part xenomorph and all yourself."

"I'm afraid that I do not know as much about my ancestry as I would like. All I know is I must look terrifying to the rest of you."

"Actually, Pen-Pen seems to be the only one who has ever really had a problem."

"Poor thing."

"I wonder what changed in the experimentation process that caused Ayanami and I to be more human-like than you, though?" Kaworu mused.

"I still have no idea," was all Walker could say.

Shinji stood up. "I-I'm done," he stammered. "Excuse me."

He hastily exited, causing Ritsuko to raise an eyebrow on instinct. "What's HIS problem?"

* * *

Asuka lay in her bunk, frustrated. She did not need the commentary from that freaky albino Kaworu, and Wondergirl was not helping matters any. Those two always got on her nerves-

She heard a knock. "Asuka, it's me. Do you think we could talk?"

She rolled over. "Fuck off, baka-Shinji."

"Well, OK, then, but I thought maybe you should know that I thought that wasn't right, what happened out there."

"I SAID FUCK OFF ALREADY, OK?! JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

There was silence.

* * *

After they were done eating, Rei, Kaworu, and Walker decided to take a walk around the spacecraft.

"It astounds me," the taller hybrid mused, "that while we are being asked to hunt the very creatures that comprise part of our own existence, we know very little about them."

"Or else little has been told us," the white-haired albino countered. "I wish that Commander Ikari wasn't so vague."

"The commander is Shinji's father, I assume?"

"Yes, but sadly they are rather distant from each other emotionally. I wish I knew why."

"What about you, Rei?"

"I am afraid that I also pay little attention to their relationship," she spoke quietly.

Walker was about to speak again when he failed to pay attention to where he was going and went face-first into the wall.

"That hurt," he deadpanned as he backed up and sat down.

Then a droplet of blood fell from his nose.

Rei and Kaworu noticed right away that there were two things notable about the blood: One, it was a more yellowish color than normal blood, and two, where the blood had landed, there was a hissing sound, then a small hole in the metal floor.

"Quick, somebody give me something to clamp my nose so the bleeding stops!" Walker yelled. "It's acid!"

"I'll make sure it didn't burn a hole through anything else," Kaworu quickly added as he and Rei went in separate directions.

"If you see the Major or any of the others, you may want to have them see this!"

Alone, he let his mind soak in what had just transpired. _If that's what MY blood does when it touches something, what will the xenomorphs be like if and when we try to kill them?_

"It thankfully did not hit any critical components, but it's still a little bit unsettling to see how quickly it ate through the titanium," Kaworu informed Misato and the others as they reached Rei and Walker. The blue-haired girl was carefully holding the other hybrid's nose closed to avoid further damage to the ship. "Has it stopped yet, Hartnell?"

"I don't know," he barely got out. "I didn't check yet."

Rei released her grip and he held his hand under his face. Shinji was terrified that if any more acid blood DID come out, it would melt the hybrid's hand and go straight through the metal again. Thankfully, nothing came, not a drop.

Ristuko finally let herself exhale. "What else is Commander Ikari not telling us?!" she asked, bewildered.

"If the xenomorphs are of similar biology," Rei offered, "then I believe that using conventional weapons such as firearms could prove to be a fatal error on our part."

"So, basically, you're saying we should kill them with actual fire if we have to?" Kaji inquired, skepticism in his voice.

"That is correct."

Asuka, who had been pried, more or less, out of her bunk to join the rest of the crew, threw up her hands. "Great. Wondergirl is suggesting that we turn this spaceship into a giant inferno!"

"Do YOU have any better ideas, Asuka?" Misato shot back.

The German became flustered again and stormed off.

"She has a point, though," Kaji interjected. "I'm not sure if fire is our only available choice-"

Then the alarms went off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: I do not own either the Evangelion or Alien franchises.**

**I think this may be the only crossover work I do. Something tells me crossovers do not get read very much if at all. So my next Evagelion fanfics will be straight-up AUs.**

**Language warning:**

"What the hell is going on?" yelled Misato as she and her companions ran to the bridge.

"There's a JSSDF vessel claiming that they're under orders to board our ship!" Maya Ibuki yelled back, her headset sitting neatly on her boyishly-cut brown hair (_Much like mine,_ mused Shinji, _just not quite as much of a mess_.).

"Whose orders?"

"I'm under direct orders from SEELE to have my men take command of this ship," boomed a voice over the loudspeakers.

"Who the fuck are you?" Ritsuko shouted.

"Well, that was smooth," Walker remarked as he rolled his eyes.

"Sergeant Major Malachi Barlow, the leader of this group. We are to take over this operation at once and by force if necessary."

"Leader, my ass!" the blonde retorted. "We're under orders-"

"You've been outranked! Either let us board or we'll storm the damned thing!"

Misato sighed. "Initiate docking procedure."

"But-" Ritsuko began to protest.

"Let's just do this so we don't have any more problems than we already have. Initiate docking procedure."

* * *

Sergeant Major Malachi Barlow strode over the threshold, looking around him with an air of smugness as several more soldiers entered behind him. "Who's in charge of this ship?" he asked.

Misato stepped forward. "Major Misato Katsuragi, NERV. I'm in command of this ship, sir."

He stared at her for a few moments, then looked away. "Who is in charge of this godforsaken ship?" he asked again.

"I said I am-"

"BullSHIT! No chance in God's green hell that a woman would be in charge of this vessel!" He turned to Kaji. "I assume you're in charge, sir?"

"No," the intelligence agent replied, "Major Katsuragi is. In charge of the whole thing. Only thing she's not in charge of is whatever occurs in bed. She shares that-"

"No woman is in charge of any operation or anything else!" Barlow shouted. He spun to Walker, stared at him for a minute, then turned slowly towards Shinji. "They let a goddamned kid on this thing?! Whose royally fucked-up idea is this?"

"Not any of ours," Misato replied.

"Shut up, you slant-eyed whore!"

No sooner had he gotten the words out of his mouth than Walker spun him by the shoulder, grabbed him by the throat, and slammed him against the wall, lifting him off the ground so that he was over the hybrid's head. "If you want to complete whatever mission you are on in one piece," he growled, aware that the other soldiers had surrounded him with their rifles drawn, "I recommend that you show the Major some respect and behave like an officer and a gentleman."

He dropped the Sergeant Major down, letting him land on his feet. Barlow shook himself and pushed past the others until he saw Kaworu, leaning up against a wall, shaking his head and chuckling. "What are YOU laughing at, fairy-boy?"

The white-haired hybrid looked up at the man, saw a snarling, square-shaped face with a disgusting flat-top cut of the most unpleasant coloration he could have ever imagined cut off at the neck by camouflage.

And all Kaworu could do was laugh again.

And then he felt the handle of a pistol slam against his jaw, the force knocking him to the floor. "I asked you a question, you fair-haired queer! What are you fucking laughing at?!"

"Leave him alone," spoke a soft voice behind him.

Barlow spun around, and without seeing who spoke, slapped Rei in the face.

It took everything Shinji had to not grab Misato's pistol, which he could see outlined against her blue cardigan, and fire a bullet at the Sergeant Major.

As it was, he didn't have to do anything because there was a flash of red hair, a string of German obscenities, and suddenly Barlow was on the ground and the guns were being raised again.

"NOBODY PUTS DOWN WONDERGIRL EXCEPT ME, AND I DON'T BEAT HER UP!" screamed Asuka.

"Get this bitch off me!" Barlow yelled.

One of the soldiers chuckled as he stepped forward and flung her into the wall. "Feisty thing," he said with a lecherous leer. "I've always had a thing for redheads."

Barlow got up. "Let her go, Kowalczyk."

"Fine," the soldier replied, backing off. "But just to let you know, I'm claimin' her for myself for later."

The Sergeant Major sighed, then began pacing around through the disjointed group of soldiers and upset expedition members. "The heads of SEELE have sent us on this mission for one reason and one reason only: to capture live xenomorphs and bring them safely back to Earth for research and breeding purposes. You are under orders to assist us in this mission. Anything other than complete cooperation will not be tolerated."

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!" screamed Shinji, unable to control himself any longer.

"Do you want to be shot, boy?"

Shinji went silent but did not stop glaring at the officer.

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me," Asuka sulked as she, Rei, Kaworu, Walker, and Shinji sat in one room. "They actually want us to CATCH those things alive. What if they try to eat us?"

"We'll find a way to kill them if they do," Kaworu assured her.

"But that bastard said we can't do that!"

"Who gives a fuck what he thinks?!" yelled Shinji. "He insulted Misato, attacked Kaworu and Rei, and sicced that pervert on you! I don't give a fuck what he thinks!"

"Keep your voice down," Walker warned, knowing that his ultra-deep voice was hard to lower as it was.

"Why the fuck should I?! He should-"

"Ikari-kun, you need to calm down," Rei quietly intoned.

"Can't believe I agree with Wondergirl, but…." Asuka's voiced trailed off.

The blue-haired girl stared at the floor. "I think everything will end in a manner that is agreeable to all of us, and by 'all of us,' I mean those of us in this room as well as Kaji, Major Katsuragi, and Dr. Akagi."

"Are you sure?" Asuka asked.

There was hesitation, then, "No."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: I do not own Evangelion (property of Hideki Anno and Studio Gainax) or Alien (property of Twentieth Century Fox and everyone listed in the A/N for the first chapter) or related trademarks.**

**OK, I know this chapter is gonna seem like just so much filler, but I wanted to introduce everyone to the mercenaries sent by SEELE. Oh, and I wanted to add a lemon. Sorry, but writing lemons is something I tend to do disturbingly well.**

**Plus, if you've seen the first two movies, it's a while before the aliens themselves appear. Depending on how this goes, it may be either next chapter or the one after that before we come face to face with the enemy.**

…**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH THE ENEMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

**Sorry, couldn't resist quoting Godsmack (I don't own them or "The Enemy").**

**Language and strong sexual content warning:**

Kowalczyk shook his head as he tossed a wad of paper into a trash can. "I still wish Sarge would have let me take care of that red-haired bitch," he muttered.

"Oh, relax," said a dark-skinned, Latino, individual, who, like the others, was wearing camouflage pants and, like a couple of the others, a tan shirt a size too tight. With him, it wasn't that pleasant as it made him look too barrel-chested. "She's probably too young for you anyway."

"Since when has that stopped him, Jiminez?" asked a woman, her hair buzzed down to the skull. "He'll fuck anything that moves."

"That's not true, Carter!" the man in question shot back. "You're the only woman I've ever known until now to not fall for my charming ways!"

"That's 'cuz she's butch, man," a black man with mid-length dreadlocks replied.

Carter hid her eyes with her palm. "For the last time, Gregson, I'm not a lesbian. I'm straight. I just like my hair like this, it saves me money on shampoo."

"Yeah, I thought everyone knew that," Jiminez added.

"I wish Sarge had gone ahead and plugged that white-haired fag, though," grumped Kowalczyk.

"Do you ALWAYS have to use that word to refer to gays and lesbians, Kowalczyk?" sighed a blonde, her hair down just to her shoulders.

"Now," Carter interrupted, "you want to talk to a REAL lesbian, L'Enfant is your woman-"

"You mean dyke," Kowalczyk shot.

"Fuck you," L'Enfant replied.

"Cool it, you guys," Gregson warned. "Sarge gets in here and hears this, he'll fuck ALL our asses."

"Nah, not Kowalczyk," Jiminez retorted. "HE'S the one who ass-fucks everybody."

"HEY!"

"He doesn't mean it like that," Carter quickly interjected. "Everyone knows you only ass-fuck women anyway."

"What about that one albino kid?" Gregson asked.

"That blue-haired bitch?" Kowalczyk asked back.

"No, the white-haired guy. You know, the homo?" He waved at L'Enfant. "No offense."

"Already taken," she growled.

"Nah, he takes it, I'll bet," Kowalczyk sneered, rubbing his flat-cut blonde stubble on top of his head.

* * *

Misato sighed as she stared at the wall in her room.

The children and the hybrids, along with the flight crew, had to share a couple of bunks, but she, along with Ritsuko and Kaji, was able to her own room. After what had happened just a couple of hours earlier, she was happy to be alone. That Sergeant Major was an asshole, no question, and at least one of his soldiers was just as bad.

She wondered why she let Gendo Ikari talk her into this, aside from the obvious fact that he was her superior. It wasn't like she'd suffered enough. She already knew about the goddamned xenomorphs from when she was younger, from Antarctica. Back then, she was the only survivor when a scientific expedition that her parents had dragged her along for had encountered what was apparently one of two colonies of xenomorphs (as she learned years later, the other one was wiped out by other creatures and another lone human survivor). She could only watch as her parents were brutally torn apart by the hideous things along with everyone else. She had barely escaped when she got on a snowmobile and sped off towards the ship that had brought them there, only for one xenomorph to catch up with her and knock her off with one swipe of its claw, tearing into her chest and leaving a scar that she would carry with her as she grew up and that was still with her now.

Her thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a knock.

"Katsuragi? May I come in?"

She sighed. _I don't need this now,_ she thought. _Still, might as well get it over with._ "Come in, Kaji."

The door slid open and Kaji indeed stood in the doorway. "I figured you could use some company," he said, the look on his face expressing genuine concern.

"Well, thanks, but I had really wanted to be alone right now," she replied as he walked in, the door shutting with a hiss behind him.

"So," he began as he sat on the bed, "what are you going to do about Barlow?"

"What CAN I do about him?! Fucker outranks me as it is, so my hands are tied tight."

"Since when has that stopped you?"

Misato sighed again.

What Kaji wanted to do right now was to go over to her and run his hand through her dark purple hair. What he felt he needed to do, however, was just remain where he was.

* * *

There was a knock at another door.

"Identify yourself," Rei asked.

"It's Dr. Akagi, Rei. Is it all right for me to come in?"

There was silence, then the door opened to show the blue-haired girl standing with her hand extended to the controls. Behind her, Asuka was on the top bunk, staring at the ceiling, Shinji and Kaworu were sitting on the bottom bunk staring at nothing much other than the floor, and Walker was leaning against the wall, seemingly asleep.

"May I come in?"

* * *

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore," Misato groaned. "I didn't even want to be on this mission to begin with, and now I'm stuck with being lorded over by a group of assholes!"

At that moment, Kaji realized that "want" for him could be "need" for her, if only to give her reassurance.

He got up and walked over to her. "Look, I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but I think we should both try to look on the bright side. So what if they're a bunch of assholes? They want to take the mission over, they can have it. And THEY can be the ones who get killed and not us."

She wanted to smile but couldn't. And he knew it. And he felt bad.

And he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

And in her emotional state, she knew that whatever happened between them, emotionally or physically, she was going to be unable to resist. Hell, she welcomed it, no matter how debased it got.

* * *

"How are you all holding up?"

The group in front of her looked at Ritsuko briefly, then looked back at whatever they had been looking at earlier. "I'll be fine, Doctor," Kaworu finally said.

"As much as I do not seem to get along with Pilot Soryu, I do have to admit that I am grateful for her defending me," Rei slowly added.

"Uh, thanks?" Asuka haltingly replied, clearly taken by surprise.

"That son of a bitch tries anything like that again to any of us, I'll fucking kill him," uttered Shinji.

* * *

"There's no way in hell we're letting them touch the kids, OK?" Kaji said softly as he gently landed kisses on Misato's neck.

"It's not just the kids I'm worried about," she admitted. "I'm worried about all of us."

"You'll be fine," he answered, his hands moving down her shoulders. "When have I known you NOT to come out fine?"

She sighed, more out of lust than anything else. "Around you, somedays I wonder."

She made no effort to resist him as his fingers traced down the curves of her sides before coming to the hem of her shirt, grasping it, and slowly lifting.

* * *

"I miss being home," griped Shinji.

The others mostly nodded their silent assent. Rei did nothing, but for the first time since Shinji met her some time before the mission began, he could have sworn he saw her eyes express something. Approval, perhaps?

"Well, after we get through this shit," Ritsuko answered, trying to sound sage but failing, "we'll be able to go home, I hope."

"It makes no difference to me," Walker commented. "I have no family on Earth to speak of, really, except all of us."

"That counts for something, right?" Kaworu spoke.

* * *

Both of them had their shirts off, and she had let him remove her bra. At the moment, they were standing in the middle of the room, her face buried in his chest. For once, she felt that there was something truly comforting about this, much more comforting and as so much sexual. Everything that happened with that group of assholes earlier melted away as they remained still, arms around each other, her nipples pressed gently against his abdomen.

Then he lifted her chin and kissed her.

* * *

Makoto Hyuga wished that he didn't have Barlow standing behind him.

The bespectacled pilot and tech guy had been under the watchful gaze of the Sergeant Major since the incident after boarding. Shigeru Aoba and Maya Ibuki tried to avoid the American at all costs as they kept the ship on course.

No words needed to be said as Misato let Kaji slide her skirt down her waist and legs, allowing her to step out of it as she began to pull down her panties, stepping out of those as well. He pulled her close to him again, keeping his hands cupped around her soft posterior as they began to kiss again.

It was into this scene of growing eroticism that a penguin waddled around the corner from where he was sleeping. He looked up and saw his owner, naked except for her stockings and boots, in the arms of a man he knew to be her on-again, off-again lover, himself shirtless, and the penguin knew that if history served well, there would be more clothes on the floor before long.

Used now to Misato's sexual dalliances with Kaji and other lovers, Pen-Pen waddled back to his resting place, making as much of a sound as the two humans were.

* * *

"I'm hungry again, and I don't know why," Kowalczyk complained.

"So what," Carter said passively, her attention solely given to the comic book she was reading. Kowalczyk could not help but note that the cover read _Aliens VS. Predator._

* * *

"I wonder what Misato is doing right now," sighed Shigeru.

"Probably trying to calm the children down," Maya suggested. "She seems to be good at that."

Hyuga, mindful that Barlow was still behind him, snorted. "How else do you explain the fact that Asuka hasn't killed Shinji or Rei yet?"

* * *

Misato landed on her back on top of the bed, her dark purple hair spread out around her as Kaji climbed on top of her. The two resumed kissing as he reached his hand below to stroke her pubic hair and further to her soft slit, sliding a finger in and earning a low moan from her as reply.

Then she opened her eyes and reached for his hardened length down below. "I'm sorry, but your hand will never be a completely satisfying substitute for the real thing," she said as she guided him in.

* * *

"Have you ever thought about sex?" asked Kaworu suddenly.

The question brought everyone to attention. "Excuse me?" was all that Ritsuko could say.

"I'm serious. Most humans consider sex to be a very important thing, whether they view it in a good, bad, or neutral fashion."

"I usually don't think about it much," admitted Shinji.

"You usually don't think, period," retorted Asuka.

"I do not feel that it is a fundamental part of my life at this time," Rei quietly said. "Perhaps it will be later."

"You're not even curious?" Shinji asked.

"I am. I just do not feel that I should concern myself with it."

"Same here," Walker drawled, leaning back against the wall as he spoke. "Of course, with MY looks, I doubt I'll have to worry about it for a long time."

* * *

Misato had tried to stay as quiet as she could as Kaji moved inside her, but it was too much. In her foggy mind, she wondered if that bastard Malachi Barlow could hear her, and she decided as the sensations of sexual pleasure built to a fever pitch that she didn't give a fuck about Sergeant Major Malachi Barlow. If he heard her and Kaji fucking, she didn't give a fuck. Involuntarily, in between groans and dirty talking, she let out a chuckle.

And that chuckle was replaced by squeaks and screams as Kaji thrust as hard and as fast as he could and finally her orgasm came as her vagina tightened around him and her juices mixed soon with his as he also reached his peak.

All was quiet except for their breathing for several minutes.

Then a certain Sergeant Major could be heard yelling, "HOT MOTHERFUCKING DAMN! THERE IT IS!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: I do not own Evangelion, Alien, or related trademarks.**

**Language and gore warning:**

Shinji and the others finally stopped running when they got to the bridge. Barlow was stomping around as if it was World War II and the Nazis had shown up with sporks for weapons. The bridge bunnies had either gone pale or were gripping the sides of the control panels, their knuckles white from stress.

"HOT DIGGITY GODDAMN!" the Sergeant Major was yelling. "WE'RE GONNA GO XENOMORPH HUNTING!"

Rei, trying to ignore the overly excited American in front of her, looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Misato trying to shift her skirt, as if she had taken it off and had to make haste to put it back on. And then she caught a faint smell in the air. She knew the others likely wouldn't smell it (unless it was one of the other hybrids), but she had been around Misato and Kaji enough to know what it was: the smell of sex. It took everything she had to not uncharacteristically roll her eyes.

Barlow waved to his soldiers and they came to him, Kowalcyzk sauntering in the lead. "All of you guys, we're gonna link to that U.N. vessel, then you're going to go in there and try to capture at least one or two xenomorphs. If there are any surviving humans, you are to get them out of there so we can put them under observation. And the three half-breeds are to go with you."

"WHAT?!" screamed Misato. "You can't do that!"

"I'M the one giving orders! Now shut your goddamned mouth, you slant-eyed whore!"

_Well, that was smart, _was the wry musing of Kaworu as Walker marched right up to the Sergeant Major and hoisted him off the ground by the throat.

"Do you realize that I can crush your neck with just one simple squeeze of my hand?" the tall hybrid uttered. "If there is any pain at all, it will be slight. But I'm not going to do that. That'd be just a bit more than you deserve."

He let the Sergeant Major go, and Barlow slumped to the floor, coughing. Then the military man looked at his soldiers with a glare. "All of you are to take the three hybrids and board the U.N. spacecraft. Capture at least two xenomorphs, rescue any human survivors, and get the hell back here. I want all of you back here alive, and that goes for your three charges. I don't want any of you lost on that damned thing."

Kowalczyk turned pale. "B-but aren't you going with us, sir?"

"You can manage without me. I'll be following your progress from here. Now get moving!"

"One question," Shinji asked, trying to think of something that could spare Rei and the others from having to walk into what he felt was certain death.

Barlow sighed. "What?"

The reaction threw Shinji off. After frantically trying to think, he opened his mouth.

"In the song 'You're So Vain' by Carly Simon, she says that the guy's so vain, he probably thinks the song is about him. The thing is, the song IS about him. So how can he be so vain that he thinks that the song is about him if the song IS about him?"

* * *

The sound of the lock closing behind them sounded to Kaworu like a curse.

As they walked on, Jiminez, Gregson, and Kowalczyk walked ahead with several of the other soldiers. Behind them, Walker stood in the lead, with Kaworu, Rei, and Carter behind him. L'Enfant and the other few troops brought up the rear.

It was dimly lit as it was inside, with light from the sun being the only light supplied that wasn't from a flashlight. A couple of the soldiers had lights attached to their weapons, keeping a watchful eye for anything suspicious. Barlow allowed the weapons under the rationale that they could disable the creatures and not kill them. Rei had argued as vehemently as she could (which, considering her normal lack of emotion, was not very much) that they needed flamethrowers, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Well, it WAS a good question," Gregson was saying.

"It was fuckin' stupid!" snapped Kowalczyk. "Who the fuck IS Carly Simon, anyway, and why the fuck should I care?!"

Rei did not feel comfortable listening to the conversation. The profanity did not bother her. She had been around her normal companions long enough that it was not an issue. It was the volume that had her worried. If anything was here that wasn't supposed to be here, they were basically inviting it to attack.

They kept walking along, searching corridors and rooms, but were having trouble finding anything.

Then they turned a corner and it all changed.

It seemed like a strange, somewhat fungal or mossy-looking growth had infested the walls. The growth wrapped around them from ceiling to floor. It was nothing like they had seen before.

"Jesus," breathed Gregson. "This shit's everywhere."

"What IS it?" asked a bewildered Carter.

"I think it might have something to do with the xenomorphs," Kaworu offered.

"How would YOU know?!" snarled Kowalczyk.

"He's part creature himself, isn't he?" L'Enfant replied. "I think he'd know more than most of us."

Walker and Rei suddenly stopped. "They're close," uttered the tall one.

"What?" Carter asked, panicked.

"The xenomorphs."

"How do you know?" queried Jiminez, suspiciously.

"I can feel it."

"What do you mean, you can feel it?"

"Through the process with which the human cells and DNA in our bodies were made one with those of the xenomorphs, we developed an empathic connection that allows us to sense the presence of xenomorphs," Rei informed her.

"Oh, this is bullshit-" began Kowalczyk.

"Well, do YOU want to risk it?" Gregson countered.

"Yeah, what if she's right?" one soldier asked.

There was a gasp, and they all turned to Rei.

"_They are here."_

"What?" asked Jiminez.

Before anyone could answer, he was suddenly yanked back by an unseen hand. There was a tortured scream, then silence.

A soldier spun around with his gun in the direction of the scream, and when his light shone on a long black skull with dripping fangs. He froze. That was a mistake. The jaws opened, and a smaller head with similar fangs shot out and tore through his throat, killing him instantly.

"What the fuck-" began Gregson, but a skeletal tail lashed out from the darkness and his head fell to the floor, blood gushing from the stump of his neck.

Carter spun around, starting to back up, but another xenomorph lunged from the darkness and fell on her. "RUN!" she screamed as it tore her apart with its jaws.

Another soldier turned and fired his rifle at a xenomorph, but the blood splattered on his skin, and as Walker had feared, it was a high-powered acid. Clutching his burning face and screaming, the soldier stumbled blindly until he fell over a railing to his death below.

Kowalczyk watched in horror as other soldiers got attacked. He quickly decided that he wanted out, and fuck the other idiots. He ran for the safety of his own ship, leaving L'Enfant and the three hybrids behind.

"SON OF A BITCH!" the lesbian screamed as she and the three hybrids ran after him. Mercifully, the xenomorphs seemed too preoccupied with their kills to give chase.

Kowalczyk reached the door linking the ships first and tried to slam it shut, but Kaworu stuck his foot in the door, allowing Rei to shove her leg in and kick the cowardly soldier in the nuts.

Repeatedly.

* * *

Barlow had been confidently pacing the bridge, gloating how his specially trained troops could handle anything that stood in their way. Unfortunately, he had them keep their radios on so he could hear their success.

So when the screams of the dying filled the control area, he was clearly stunned. It took everything Misato had to not smile in spite of the carnage.

And in the midst of it all, in stumbled a pained man clutching his crotch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: I do not own either the Evangelion or Alien franchises.**

**OK, this will be my last lemon chapter of the entire story. This is really just a bunch of filler to tide everyone over to chapter seven. After this, there's no more lemons. Unless you ask. Or more appropriately, beg.**

**Language and very strong sexual content warning. I repeat, VERY STRONG sexual content warning:**

Kowalczyk lay on the floor, weeping and clutching his balls as Barlow towered over him. "Why did you assault one of my men like that?" the Sergeant Major snapped at Rei.

"He had it coming," she replied.

"That son of a bitch took off running and tried to leave us for those fucking things to kill out there!" screamed L'Enfant. "It's a shame she didn't kick the little fucker hard enough for his balls and his eyeballs to switch fucking places!"

"NOW do you see why those things are supposed to be destroyed?" asked Misato, a snarl in her voice. "You shouldn't have had to lose so many of your people to learn that lesson!"

There was silence for a few moments. Too much silence.

Finally Barlow looked up, and Shinji thought he could see the veins bulging in the man's forehead.

"The mission that SEELE has sent us on will go on as planned," he said, trying not to lose his temper. "Tomorrow, we will come up with a new plan and try again. Now get the fuck out of my sight, all of you."

* * *

Asuka lay on her part of the bunk, staring emptily upwards.

She was thankful that she wasn't one of those who had to go to the U.N. vessel. She had stood on the bridge, already glad that she was staying inside her own ship, when all hell had broken loose. As much as she could not _stand_ Wondergirl, she was relieved to see Rei return safely.

_I thought it was a bad idea, too, _she thought now. _Those things LOOKED ugly in the photos, I had a feeling that they were going to ACT ugly, and after Tall, Pale, And Freaky cut himself, I had a bad feeling that they were going to be tougher than that asshole American thought._

There was a knock. "Asuka, it's Shinji. May I come in?"

_There must be something wrong with me. I can't bring myself to tell him to fuck off._ "Yes."

The door quietly hissed open and then closed. She looked towards the source of the noise. "Are you going to be all right?"

"Yeah, probably," she sighed.

Shinji walked over and sat down next to her. "You're scared too, aren't you?"

She sat up in a huff. "I'm not scared of anything!"

"That's not what I hear in you."

The redhead slumped back down. "Well, I'm not."

He sighed. "Look, if it's any consolation to you, I'm scared too. I don't trust that Sergeant Major at all, and I think that this plan to capture some of those things alive is a great way to get more people on this ship killed. Well, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to find a way to stop him. I can't let my fear stand in the way of doing what needs to be done."

Asuka said nothing, and Shinji sighed again. "Well, I should let you try to sleep," he said as he rose to leave.

Then he felt a hand grab his arm and pull him down on the bunk.

"Please don't leave me, Shinji," she whispered. "I feel scared when I'm alone."

And before he could react she had her arms around him, her face buried in his shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak, then decided the hell with it. He put his arms around her and let his face gently land on her hair, breathing her in.

Then he lifted her face up to look at him, and after a brief moment of hesitation where he could have sworn he saw her eyes shimmer with tears, tears representing so many emotions, he pressed his lips to hers.

Her eyes widened. _Wait, why is baka-Shinji kissing me?_ she thought.

_Is it because I'm scared and he's trying to make me feel better?_

_I-I guess I COULD be nice and kiss him back…._

And she did.

They lay there, kissing, his hands rubbing along her back. It felt good for her to have him do this to her. It served as a sort of comfort.

_And yet… I want more._

_I NEED more._

She moved one of her arms to his front and ran her hand down his chest. While he wasn't exactly muscular, for his age, he was in decent shape. She undid the top button on his shirt. "Shinji…."

He looked at her quizzically.

"Please."

In reply he gently tugged at the tie at the collar of her blouse, loosening it and tossing it aside. As she unbuttoned his shirt, he lowered the straps of her dress, and she paused to slip it off and toss it to the floor. He finished taking his shirt off, haltingly, as if he still wasn't sure how to react. She then lifted his undershirt off and it joined the growing pile of clothing as he undid the buttons of her blouse.

They shifted in the bunk as he took off her shoes before slowly peeling off her socks, letting himself savor the warmth of her skin against his fingertips. He then quickly removed his own shoes and socks before they both went back to each other's arms. Her blouse was slipped off and dropped with everything else as she fumbled for the button and zipper of his pants. Once she had finally and awkwardly succeeded in undoing the restraints, she slipped her hand underneath the waistband of his boxers. The moment she did so, Shinji realized what she was trying to do.

"Asuka," he began, "you don't have to-"

"No," she interrupted, "but I need to."

She wrapped her hand gently around his swiftly-hardening length as she gazed longingly, pleadingly, into his eyes. She could detect surprise and uncertainty as he reached for her breasts, still hidden by her bra.

It was only then that they heard they hissing sound of the door sliding shut.

Startled, they looked up and saw Rei, staring at them with what seemed like utter disinterest.

"Oh god, Ayanami-" Shinji blurted out.

He suddenly stopped as the blue-haired hybrid started to undress, leaving her clothes in a trail behind her as she approached them.

Asuka looked up at Shinji, bewildered. "You don't think she-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Rei had stripped naked and was now on the bunk.

Shinji was now utterly confused as he stared at the two girls around him. The confusion was worsened when Rei started kissing his cheek.

"Hey, now wait a minute, Wondergirl," snapped Asuka, "I-"

The pale girl cut her off by kissing her deeply on the mouth. Asuka's eyes went about as wide as they could go, and Shinji came to the realization that he was going to have a fairly eventful night to say the very least.

Rei's arms snaked behind Asuka and removed her bra, dumping it on the floor with everything else. She then slid the redhead's panties down her slim legs and tossed them aside, where they landed on the head of Pen-Pen, who had slipped in the room as Rei opened the door and had gone undetected the whole time, incredibly enough. He shook the offending underwear from his head and snuck behind whatever hiding place he could find.

By this time, Asuka had given up on making any sense of what was going on, and so she just surrendered herself to Rei's embrace, their tongues striving with each other in the dim light. Shinji was speechless at the sight and was rendered moreso when Rei reached behind her and slipped her hand in his pants.

"Uh, Rei," the boy asked haltingly as she began to stroke his penis, "how, aaaaahhhh, how do you know what to do when, uh, aaaaaahhhh, you know?"

She turned her head, and for a moment it was crystal clear that she had a smile on her face that screamed impure thoughts. "You would be surprised at how many times I have walked in on Agent Kaji and Major Katsuragi in the middle of explicit sexual activity. I should also add that I have on a couple of occasions unintentionally seen Dr. Akagi pleasuring herself when she thinks she is alone, so yes, Shinji, I know what I am doing."

_Why is she suddenly using only my first name?_ the addressed wondered.

That was all he could wonder, however, as Rei began to use her free hand to play with Asuka's nipples, causing the German to start groaning. Shinji, finding himself entranced by Rei's movements, pushed his pants and boxers off and they went to the floor with everything else. He then let his arm reach around Rei and began to gently squeeze her breasts together with his fingers The blue-haired girl closed her eyes and sighed in pleasure.

He then rolled onto his back, taking Rei with him and kissing her. As they held each other, lips and tongues locked in passion, Shinji felt a heat down below. One eye opened to see Asuka staring longingly at his cock before she opened her mouth and slowly, almost hesitantly, took him in. Rei saw the boy's reaction and stopped the kiss to sit up and straddle his face, lowering herself towards him.

Shinji's nostrils caught a scent from the hybrid's slit, a scent that was intoxicating, and he lifted his head to nuzzle her. In reaction, she began to grind against him as her breathing began to waver and as little squeaks came from her mouth. Between Asuka's steadily increasing sucking and the feeling of Rei's soft pussy on his face, Shinji felt like he was in heaven.

Asuka suddenly stopped. "Wanna switch places, Wondergirl?"

Rei turned and smiled as the nuzzling and licking of her slit stopped. "That would be agreeable, Pilot Sohryu. I think you will find Shinji to be quite amazing."

She scooted backwards as Asuka walked around and took her place.

A few moments later, Shinji had to admit to himself that Rei's blowjob was a bit better, almost as if she had more experience. Asuka, meanwhile, was bucking her hips into his face and screaming as he ate her out below. The sensation was driving her mad as her legs started to quiver. Shinji felt her tense up, then she had her first orgasm as she coated his mouth with her juices.

She leaned forward, propping herself up on the elbow with her hands, her breasts in Shinji's moist face. "Oh my god, Shinji, that was so wonderful…. But I want to do more…."

Upon hearing those words, Rei stopped sucking Shinji's cock. "I think you know what 'more' implies, Pilot Sohryu."

"Yes…. Yes, I do…."

She moved towards the lower half of the boy and positioned herself over him, the tip of his cock touching her slit, about ready to push through. "Shinji, we're making this fast so maybe it won't hurt as much."

"Many girls do feel pain when they have sexual intercourse for the first time, Pilot Sohryu," Rei commented. "I know that when I had intercourse with Nagisa, the discomfort was-"

"Wait. You're not a virgin?"

"Admittedly I spent too much time around Nagisa-"

She was cut off by a sharp cry and a gasp from Asuka. A slight trickle of blood was coming from between her and Shinji.

"It will only last a short while, and then you will be able to continue," the hybrid said. "If I have to, I can keep Shinji ready for when you are able to-"

Again she was cut off as Asuka took a deep breath and started to slowly move up on Shinji's cock before lowering herself back down. She pulled up again, slightly faster, and Shinji knew that she was ready to go wild.

The redhead then wiggled her finger towards Rei in a seductive "come hither" motion, and the blue-haired hybrid obliged, straddling Shinji's face again as she leaned forward to kiss the other girl. Now the boy felt that he was getting an erotic workout as his tongue probed Rei's inviting pussy while his cock was fucking Asuka's tight vagina at the same time.

Still, he tried to hold on, tried not to surrender yet, and then he felt Asuka clench around him, and as screams of pleasure came from her, she came again, the heat of her consuming Shinji like wildfire.

She was still for a moment, letting herself drift down from her peak, then she rose up, feeling him slide from her, and Rei took her place, back towards the boy as she lowered herself onto him. Asuka and Shinji began kissing again, one of his hands massaging her breasts as the other squeezed Rei's tight yet lovely ass while she rode him, her breath coming out in pants and squeaks.

Asuka then let one of her hands slide down and she began to tease her entrance with her fingers, letting one or two slip in as she heard Rei close to orgasm.

_I want to do this with her. I want to do this TOGETHER._

…_.What has happened to my head?! I was NEVER like this before!_

The thought made her chuckle in mid-moan.

"Oh god, Rei, I-I think I'm going to-" Shinji stammered.

"So am I!" the hybrid screamed.

And then the room became full of sounds and screams and moans and squeals as Rei felt herself cum, and at almost the exact same time, she felt a familiar liquid heat surge through her as the boy inside her, no, the _man_ inside her, felt his release as well.

And out of the corner of her eye, she saw Asuka's legs turn to jelly as she slumped to the floor, her self-given orgasm having drained all the rest of her energy. Rei smiled as she got off of Shinji, their mingled fluids trickling from her pussy and down her leg as she snuggled next to him. Asuka managed to eventually pull herself onto the bunk and take Shinji's other side.

"I think I might remember this night forever," the redhead purred into his ear.

"It will at least help me sleep better after what I saw today," Rei breathed into the other one.

"And considering what may happen tomorrow," Shinji mused, almost regretfully, "this may be the best thing that happens to us on this godforsaken spaceship."

"Let's not think of that," Asuka said. "Maybe everything will go right for us and we can do this again."

Shinji smiled and closed his eyes. "I hope you're right."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: I do not own Evangelion, Alien, or related trademarks. I am, however, incredibly insane and as I begin writing this I am watching "Vampire's Kiss," where Nicolas Cage overacts as only Nicolas Cage, Hammiest Actor To Ever Win An Oscar, can.**

**Language and content warning:**

The halls of the spaceship were silent in the perpetual evening of space.

Silent save for the gaunt figure lurking through them.

Hartnell Walker did this a lot before the Americans had arrived. But after the encounter with the xenomorphs, he needed a way to clear his mind. He never had seen that much death before and had no desire to see that much ever again. And yet he had a bad feeling that he would still see more.

As he rounded the corner, he suddenly stopped.

Rei Ayanami was staring out one of the windows, a disturbed look on her face. Much to Walker's surprise, she was completely naked. Also to his surprise, a strange smell hung in the air around her.

He approached her. "Rei, what are you doing awake?"

She did not look at him. "I could not sleep."

"I can see that, but still-" He sniffed. "What's that smell?"

"I had intercourse with Shinji and Pilot Sohryu, if that is what you are referring to."

"Uh, OK, then why can I smell it?"

"It appears that hybrids like ourselves are able to detect a distinct change in the atmosphere after sexual intercourse has occurred. Why this happens, I do not know."

"So you had a three-way with Shinji and Asuka? Do I really want to know why?"

"What we saw out there, Walker…. What we saw was something I wish I had never seen. I wanted to do whatever I could to take the images away. I had never planned on Pilot Sohryu's involvement but since she was already in the early stages of intimacy with Shinji I chose to include her. I thought it would help me to sleep, but I found myself unable to."

"Oh."

There was silence.

"Whatever Barlow has planned, I don't think it's going to end well," Walker finally said. "What we saw out there is likely going to happen again if he isn't stopped."

"How do you plan to stop him?" Rei asked, finally turning her head to look at him.

Walker fell silent again for a while. "Damned if I know," he finally admitted.

Once again it was silent. Rei felt like she needed to say or do something, yet all she could bring herself to do was put her arm around his waist. The taller hybrid looked down at her in surprise. Then he put one of his own arms around her naked shoulders and they stood there, staring out the window into the space outside.

He felt her body heave in a sigh, and then she spoke.

"If the man really was so vain that he thought the song was about him-"

And Walker let out a sigh of his own.

* * *

Misato wished she had a beer.

Barlow was standing with his face towards the wall, not saying anything, but his body language spoke volumes. The past few hours had not altered his determination to capture several live xenomorphs. In fact, it had made it worse.

"There has not been one goddamned thing on God's own forsaken green earth that has escaped from Malachi Barlow!" he finally bellowed. "Not now, not ever!"

_Dear lord, we're all fucked, _thought the purple-haired woman.

Asuka, who was sitting with the others and watching the outburst, looked at Shinji and smiled. _She thinks he's crazy too, _the boy thought. _Or maybe this has something to do with last night? I mean, Rei's been smiling at me a lot as well, so maybe it DID-_

His thoughts were interrupted by Kaji slamming his fists on the table. "I don't care who you are, you can't do that!" he yelled.

"I outrank you, and even if I didn't, I would do what I'm doing right now and tell you to go fuck yourself!" the American roared. "The half-breeds are coming with, the other two brats are coming with, that slant-eyed whore is going with, and YOU'RE going with, cocksucker!"

Misato was about to launch herself at Barlow, but Kaworu grabbed her arm and pulled her back to her chair. "We'll think of something," he whispered.

Walker glared at the Sergeant Major.

Asuka started shivering uneasily until Shinji took her hand in his. Somehow, his presence was more reassuring than she used to consider it.

L'Enfant watched the proceedings with a growing sense of dread. She had always considered her superior to be mentally unfit for duty, yet she was never in any position to do anything about it. In her honest opinion, she felt that having R. Lee Ermey's character from "Full Metal Jacket" would be preferable, and smarter, under the circumstances.

Too late for that now.

"If we are going to be returning to that spaceship, which, in my opinion, is the closest thing to a literal death trap that I have ever known," Rei suddenly spoke, "then in case you finally realize that self-preservation should be a far higher priority than coming into possession of live xenomorphs, I would suggest that you bring flamethrowers."

Barlow spun to face her, an outraged look on his face. "There will be no weapons of any sort on this expedition!" he snapped at her. "We are to capture LIVING xenomorphs at ALL costs! NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I BREAK YOUR JAW IN TWO PLACES AND SKULLFUCK YOU UNTIL YOU ARE BLIND!"

Kowalczyk let out a cheer. "You tell that bitch who the boss is, Sarge!"

"We'll use you as bait, you flattopped Neanderthal," snarled Shinji, his anger boiling to the surface.

"You threaten him again and-" Barlow began.

"If you were to choose to skullfuck me, Sergeant Major," Rei quietly intoned, but with a definite threat in her voice, "it would not matter how badly my jaw is broken. I will bite your genitalia off and force-feed them to you and let your wounds become infected and leave you to die without any help given to you whatsoever. I will also leave you to die if you are attacked by xenomorphs and my own life or the life of someone much more deserving of survival can be saved while you are eaten alive, and I will smile as your screams finish rattling in your throat. Am I understood, you mentally disadvantaged goatfucker?"

Barlow wanted to reach for his pistol and kill her right then and there, but Kowalczyk stopped him as the rest of the original group began cheering Rei's boldness. "We'll put her in the lead, where the things can get her first. Hell, if you have to, you can shoot her in the back then."

Rei's face went to back to a look of no emotion, but inside, she was on cloud nine. _I believe I have spent far too much time around Major Katsuragi for my own good. Nevertheless, I put that fucking arrogant American in his place. Mercifully, most Americans I know are not like him._

_I should say things like that more often. It feels…._

_Agreeable._


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: I do not own Evangelion or Alien or related trademarks.**

**Trying to be more descriptive with stuff, but it'll take a bit of work.**

**Oh, and next chapter is when all hell starts to break loose.**

**Language and violence warning:**

"I still think we should have at least brought a gun to shoot her in the back with," grumbled Kowalczyk as he and Barlow followed behind Rei as she led the group through the abandoned U.N. spacecraft.

"I told you, no weapons," the Sergeant Major replied. "We're going to find a way to capture the xenomorphs without causing any damage to them."

"But you weren't with us when we had to go after the things yesterday. How are we going to get them without any weapons?"

"We'll find a way. Because I said so."

* * *

Rei, for her part, was inclined to ignore her growing sense of dread.

_They are close. I can feel them._

_And yet… I do not want any of these things among my friends. On MY ship._

She took a sharp left turn and everyone else followed. Everyone, that is, except for Kowalczyk. "Hey, wait a minute, we never went this way the last time!" he yelled.

"I merely am leading you to where I sense the xenomorphs right now," was her quiet reply.

"BULLSHIT! You're trying to sidetrack us so we NEVER get our job done!"

"As much as I wish that was true, that is not what I am doing," she answered, knowing that she really _was_ lying to him and yet not caring at all.

"Sarge, I wanna fuckin' shoot her in the back the moment we get back on our ship!"

"I'll think about it," Barlow replied.

Asuka, walking well behind the others and scared despite herself and despite Shinji's presence at her side, suddenly saw something out of the corner of her eye. "What was that?"

Ritsuko turned to see where the redhead was looking. "I don't see anything."

"It moved out of sight, whatever it was! I know I saw something!"

_Damn it, she probably saw one of them, _Walker thought bitterly. _Now we'll never get out of here without incident._

Sure enough, Barlow turned around and began marching back, forcing Rei to continue walking ahead. "Then that's where we're going! Move it!"

Asuka and Shinji backed up against the wall and let the others pass, but L'Enfant stopped. "Go on," she said, trying to sound as reassuring as she could. "I'll watch your back, all right?"

"And now I'm sure you were just seeing things, Asuka," griped Ritsuko. "You've just given that asshole license to run around on a wild goose chase."

"Maybe she did see something," Kaworu countered, "but unless Rei senses something up ahead, whatever trail we were on, we've lost it."

"Good," came Shinji's reply from further back.

"Don't be so sure," cautioned Walker.

"Yes, it appears we spoke too soon," Kaworu agreed.

"Oh no!" groaned Asuka.

"Wait, how again are they going to try to capture any xenomorphs without needing any weapons?" Kaji asked. "I can think of no possible way that this makes sense-"

Before he could finish, Rei was suddenly blindsided.

* * *

She never even got a chance to warn anyone as the xenomorph rushed in from the left and bowled her over. Recovering quickly from the initial shock, she planted her feet on its body as she fell to her back and pushed upwards at the same time that she pushed upwards on its shoulders, sending it head over heels away from her. It managed to regain control and footing, but Rei had sprang from her back to a standing position, and she tripped the charging creature onto the steel floor. It got back up, and it began to advance again, feet clicking on the grilled metal, when Barlow suddenly slipped behind it and wrapped a collar around its neck.

Grinning, Kowalczyk produced a remote control and turned a knob, causing both the xenomorph and the Sergeant Major to start screaming. Kowalczyk quickly turned the shock collar off long enough to let his superior remove his hands from the device before turning it back on, the xenomorph blindly attacking a wall in pain. "Sorry, Sarge."

Barlow merely stared bitterly at him for a moment before turning to Misato. "See? THAT'S how we catch these things without weapons."

"That's not exactly safe," she retorted. "Plus, how long do you exactly plan on being able to control them? I'd think they'd find some way to get used to the pain-"

"These collars would knock out a rhinoceros. And these sons of bitches are not smart enough to adapt. All they seem to know is kill, kill, kill."

"Like you?"

"You shut your mouth."

"Much as I'd love to listen to Misato continue to verbally bitchslap you," Walker cut in, "I'd rather not be in the same place for too long. In fact, the sooner we're done with these damn things the better."

Barlow bristled but said nothing as he moved forward, Kowalczyk struggling to drag the thrashing xenomorph behind him without getting shocked.

* * *

"Sarge, we seem to be going around in circles again," complained Kowalczyk as he followed the rest of the group, prodding the xenomorph along. Ritsuko tried to shine a large flashlight ahead for the rest to see, even though the hybrids in front of her cut the beam off repeatedly.

"Well, it'd probably help if our tour guides would be so kind as to do their goddamned jobs!" the Sergeant Major shouted, Rei rolling her eyes ahead of him.

"It would help if any of us actually detected anything," Kaworu retorted.

"Spoke too soon, Kaworu," Walker interrupted. "We've got one incoming."

"How fast?" L'Enfant asked.

The clanging of claws growing louder behind her answered her question.

"RUN!"

Shinji ignored the screams and curses from Barlow as he joined everyone except Kowalczyk in running away, the darkness swallowing them despite the best efforts of Ritsuko's flashlight. Eventually, the two Americans remaining gave up and followed, dragging the protesting xenomorph behind as it cried to its fellow space demon for help.

* * *

Kaji was in the middle of the pack, listening to the creature gaining on them, when they rounded a corner and started down another hallway. As he turned sharply, he tripped and fell to the steel. He stumbled to his feet and began to run again, but now he had lost track of the others and could not see Ritsuko's light anywhere.

"Well," he said as he turned another corner, "I'm royally fucked-"

And that was when something hit him in the face and the world went black.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: I do not own Evangelion, Alien, "I'm A Believer" by The Monkees, or related trademarks.**

**Special thanks to Watershipper for being nice enough in his reviews to keep me on track:**

**Turns out that after four completed stories and two in progress, I still forget to be descriptive with clothing and other details. I'll go over it more in the chapter, but unless otherwise noted, the NGE characters are wearing their usual clothing (Shinji has his dress shirt and slacks, Asuka and Rei have their school uniforms, Misato has that dress that kinda matches her hair color and the red jacket, Ritsuko is in her regular lab outfit, Kaji has the shirt and tie, and Kaworu… well, he has the dark slacks as well, but I can't decide if his shirt should be black or white, and the bridge bunnies are in uniform as per the usual). Everyone else's stuff will be described as we go along.**

**Language and gore warning:**

The sounds of footsteps echoed throughout the cavernous room as the door flew open to reveal a furious Gendo Ikari, his glare burning through his glasses. "Kihl," he growled, "this had better be your idea of a sick joke."

The hologram in front of him flickered as the rotund old man, his own eyes hidden by a hideous visor, smiled. "And hello to you too, Ikari."

"You son of a bitch! You and the rest of your bastard allies at SEELE sent a bunch of goddamned mercenaries onto a NERV vessel and are putting MY team and MY son in danger, and for what unholy reason?!"

Lorenz Kihl, the rather enigmatic head of SEELE, leaned back in his chair. "For shame, Ikari. You still cannot see the beauty in what I intend to accomplish."

Gendo wished deeply that the hologram was not merely that.

"The human race is a feeble species," Kihl resumed, "and as such is in need of both correction and, ultimately, replacement. To that end, we will follow the lead you have taken in your experiments with xenomorph DNA, only I intend to use the DNA to create a superior race of being, one that will ultimately drive the human race as we know it into extinction."

"Third Impact," sneered the Commander. "Dear God in all His heaven, you _are_ a monster."

"You must think I am some sort of Nazi in the tradition of Hitler himself to have come to such a brilliant decision. No, Ikari. I only seek to further evolution as Darwin himself intended."

"Darwin's remains can go fuck themselves, and I don't care if you pardon my French or not. I don't care if your thugs are in charge, if any harm comes to Shinji, I will hunt you down and I will personally kill you. Understood?"

Without waiting for a reply, he spun around and left. Kihl merely chuckled.

* * *

"_I thought love was only true in fairy tales, meant for someone else but not for me…."_

Shinji still had no idea what possessed him to put The Monkees on his SDAT player. Especially this song. So what if it fit. So what if he had had feelings for Asuka but never got the chance to act on them until recently. So what if it was in a sudden and, he had to admit, unorthodox way. So what if he also had feelings for Rei, even if they were not as strong. So what if-

"Mind if I sit down?"

He barely heard L'Enfant over the music, but he switched off the player as she sat in the chair a couple of seats to his left. Her blonde hair went loosely over her shoulders as a contrast to her light olive/tan tank top and standard-issue camouflage pants. "So what are you listening to?"

"The Monkees," he answered, somewhat haltingly.

"Nothing wrong with them. Is that what you usually have?"

"Not really, most of this is classical music. I sometimes play the cello whenever I'm back home."

"That sounds nice." She leaned back and let her arms fall to her sides. Shinji tried not to stare at her, but he couldn't help but notice that her breasts were on the same size level as Misato's. "So what is a seemingly sweet boy like you doing in a hellhole like this?"

"My father was ordered to send me with on the mission. Probably because I'm his son, I guess."

"You not like your father much?"

"Well, it's a long story, but it's not a warm relationship to put it one way."

It was quiet for a while after that.

Shinji broke the silence. "You're not really JSSDF, are you?"

"No, Barlow used that because he figured it'd be easier to get on board that way. He's actually a rogue U.S. Army officer leading a bunch of mercenaries. Well, it's just me and that asshole Kowalczyk now but still."

"He mentioned something about some group called SEELE. Do you know what they are or can't you say?"

"No idea. Barlow knows but that's about it. Ask me if I like him."

"I think I know the answer but I'll ask anyway."

"He and the other bastard can go fuck themselves. No regard for other people whatsoever."

"You seem nice enough, ma'am."

The mercenary smiled. "Please, Shinji, just call me Emily. I never was comfortable with proper stuff like 'ma'am.'"

"All right, Emily. That's a very nice, pretty name. Kind of like you."

"Do you talk to all the women you meet that way?"

"I'm not trying to-" he hastily began.

"I know, I'm just being a bit too playful. I'm not really attracted to guys anyway." She saw his eyes widen a bit. "Besides, even if I was, I don't know if that redheaded girl would appreciate me trying to take you from her. Pretty easy to tell that you two have something going."

He blushed. "Well, it just started, really. We didn't get along at all at first."

"At least you get along now."

"She gets along better with Rei, too. Makes life easier on me, that's for sure."

L'Enfant smiled again. "So, what Monkees song are you listening to?"

"'I'm A Believer.'"

"Why the Monkees' version? I always thought Smash Mouth did a great take on the song."

"Personal preference, I guess."

"I see."

There was silence again.

"Hey, Shinji," she asked, breaking the silence, "did you ever figure out the answer to that question yet? You know, the one about the song?"

* * *

Rei Ayanami took a deep breath as she stared at the shower.

Running around that abandoned United Nations vessel had caused her to break out in a bad sweat. Not only that, she smelled like dank metal and angry xenomorph. Not a pleasant combination.

Sighing, she turned on the water, stripped off her clothes, and stepped inside.

She leaned her forehead on the wall as the spray flowed down her naked back and around her shapely posterior. Some of it curved around and dripped off her soft pussy, but her mind was somewhere else. Sex or arousal was not that somewhere.

_I wish I was somewhere else. Away from these xenomorphs. Away from those mercenaries._

_I wish I was home._

* * *

"So is it ready yet?" asked Kaworu, leaning forward to see the progress that Hartnell Walker was making.

The taller hybrid sighed. "I hope so. I don't think I can concentrate this powder any further than it already is."

"What did you put in it, anyway?"

"Basically anything I could find that I know will neutralize acid. Then I threw in some other stuff that I found that seemed promising, and then I started to dry it into powder."

"Ready to try it out?"

"Got the test stuff?"

"Including one dead bull head and one thawed-out chunk of freezer-burnt meat."

"And we've got all the scalpels we could ask for. Here we go."

Walker picked up one of the many scalpels and drew it across his skin, avoiding any major arteries but ensuring that he would get good blood flow from his arm. He watched as the yellow dripped steadily down to his hand and fell on the meat. The hissing sound that they knew too well signified the erosion from the acid.

"One, two, now!" Walker quickly said, and Kaworu leaned in and carefully shook the powder out so as not to dump the whole thing by mistake. A second later, there was silence. Tentatively, the taller hybrid began to scrape the residue away with another scalpel, a scalpel he almost drop in shock. "It worked?!"

Kaworu leaned forward and was stunned. There was some pitting where the blood had fallen, but it was almost superficial. "Try the eye on the bull head!" he blurted.

Walker let the acid drip onto the eye, waited the same length of time as before, and then Kaworu applied the powder. The acid stopped almost instantly again. The eye, being softer than the meat, had been mostly destroyed, but that was all the damage done, with the rest of the tissue and bone surrounding it undamaged.

"How much more can you make, Walker?" Kaworu asked.

"How much time do we have?"

"That is a good question."

"Time to go tell the bridge of our plan," Walker decided as they walked out, Kaworu carrying the precious powder while the taller one tried to stop the bleeding.

* * *

"What do you mean Kaji's still missing?!" screamed Misato.

"Just what I said," Ritsuko replied, rubbing her eyes. "He never returned to our ship with the rest of us. As far as we know-"

"Oh, dear GOD no!"

"Afraid so."

Misato sighed. "Any chance we can get him back?"

"I know you still have feelings for the man, Misato, but do YOU want to go near those things again?"

Misato was about to reply when the intercom overhead crackled. "LET ME IN! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME IN!"

* * *

In a darkened part of the ship, four snarling xenomorphs were enclosed, shock collars firmly attached to their necks. The air was heavy with their snarls.

One of them tried to yank its collar off, but for all its strength, the collar held fast. Not to mention that it received a nasty shock every time as Barlow had modified them to be escape proof.

They looked at each other for several moments.

Then three of them fell on the one in the middle and tore it to shreds.

The blood ate through the floor as more of it sprayed on the collars, which fell to the ground.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Makoto said, folding his arms and looking over his glasses at the two hybrids. "You want us to speed out of here at a moment's notice while launching a couple of space nukes to obliterate the U.N. space station?"

Kaworu shrugged. "The way you put it, yes."

Shigeru sighed. "Come on, man, just do it. Sooner we get to planet earth in one piece, the sooner we can wear something other than these blah uniforms."

Maya had sat uncomfortably in her seat, squirming at the thought of attacking a ship that, she felt, might still have a living person inside. She was about to say something when Misato's voice came over the radio.

* * *

"Jesus H. Christ, you dumbass," barked Barlow as Shinji and L'Enfant walked over, "what the hell were you doing in there?!"

The addressed, Kaji, smiled. "Well, I kinda got separated. Took me a while to get back since I ran into something and got knocked out a bit."

"Damn it, Kaji, we were worried about you!" Misato answered, wrapping him in a hug.

"Where's Rei?" asked Asuka, who had also just arrived.

"She's on her way, she just got out of the shower," Ritsuko explained.

"Did you see anything out there?" Shinji asked.

Kaji shook his head. "Once I came to, I decided to haul ass back here. Took me a while, though, since I think I was out for at least an hour."

"Jackass," muttered Kowalczyk.

It was then that Rei, wearing sneakers, a t-shirt, and shorts the same color as her hair, walked in.

And as she stared around the room, her eyes becoming more and more fearful, only Shinji sensed that something was wrong.

"Rei? Is everything all right?" asked Kaji.

"One of them is in here," she said, her voice faltering.

"That's impossible! I have those cocksuckers locked in the most secure part of this vessel-" blurted Barlow, but then he stopped as she went over to Kaji and put her head on his chest.

"R-Rei? What are you doing?" Kaji asked, panic creeping in his voice.

Then the blue-haired hybrid looked up.

"It is inside you, Kaji-san."

"What do you mean, inside-"

All of a sudden he lurched forward as if to vomit.

"Kaji? What's wrong?" a frantic Ritsuko nearly shouted.

The man only collapsed to his back, screaming as his chest began to bulge outward. Rei tried to cover her face, but to her horror, she could not turn away.

And with one final bulge, Ryoji Kaji's chest exploded as an eyeless pink creature, looking alarmingly like a baby xenomorph, emerged from the hole.

And as she watched her on-again, off-again lover swiftly bleed out on the floor, all Misato Katsuragi could do was scream.


End file.
